October 21st

I never wanted death to become Mums prison. Trapped in a world of mourning and of what might have beens, of sadness. This journey for me has been about celebrating her life, her spirit. To my thoughts it should never be about regretting what might have been and so in effect regretting what was. It should be about celebrating what was, what is, and what always will be. Mum adored happy endings, fairy tales and to use a cliche, puppy dog tails. It's been said that the difference between real life and a story is that in real life you don't get to choose how it ends. Mum didn't get to choose how her life ended, but I have been fortunate enough to be able to choose how her dream of returning to Turkey has been made. I guess many may have thought that perhaps I have been unable or finding it hard to bring myself to scatter Mums ashes such has been the time. For me it hasn't been that at all, it has been about wanting to find the right place, to give her the fairytale ending I feel she so richly deserves and the journey that encompasses it. As I said previously, some things in life you only ever get one chance at. We have tripped with moonlight on the oceans shores, scaled mountains above the clouds, raced the birds as they dance beside us, seen the beginnings of civilisation, the homes of myths and the wonders of nature and the kindness of friendship.

Her dream has lead to me being able to see every day the spark of old memories in people as they burst into a smile when seeing the bus, waving to their dreams. The conjuring of new ideas and adventures in others equally as they see Mums bus go by. None of them conscious of the whys or wherefores as to why the bus is passing, just simple recognition of a happy difference to their day.

This is Mums story, her dream, and all I wish for is that this is how she would of chosen it to end. To end as a new beginning. Death will not be her chains, it is her freedom, here in the fairy chimney valleys of Cappodocia, flying free in the heart of Turkey to choose to go wherever her heart desires. She will always remain in my heart, as she will yours.

The sunrise of October 21st was Mums freedom together with her beloved Tara and the sunflower seeds that I scattered with them from the balloon.

I am going to bring the blog to its natural close here. Thank you all for your support by simply reading and being part of Mums dream. Thank you to those that have posted comments. I have read them all as I have travelled and still do whenever I have the chance. 

There is a piece of music below that I would like you all to listen to if you can as you look at the pictures taken during Mums flight. It is a piece that she loved to listen to and dance to, and a piece that I feel reflects the morning of the 21st. The rainbow coloured balloon itself that was to carry us was a coincidence of the morning not a waiting choice, as was the direction in which the wind took us. Since you cannot steer a balloon, merely be taken by the breeze..... 

Nina Simone - Feeling good by YunusEmreUNAL

"Touch the hole in your life and there the flowers will bloom"